back im pemba...

so, i write this for myself, because i need to...after driving 3 days back from beira to the iris base in pemba, i had time to think, pray, debate and discuss with my friends what we had been hearing and seeing. First, Beira was a brillant opportunity for 20 countries to come together, worship the Lord, dance with each other, share each others houses and food and intentionally love each other even with limited communication. i am becoming increasingly aware that for sustainable change in an area, you have to learn the language, regardless of the approach you are taking, missions, youth work, hotels, whatever, mastery of the language is essential if you wish to move past the hello how are you, what is your name stage. it is imperative to LIVE the gospel, and this can be done brillantly by playing games with kids, giving em high fives, sharing your food with them, praying with them, and joining in on all their crazy songs and chants. but true relationship is based in the ability to communicate. anyways, beira had a lot of good things, and a lot of things that i did not understand. On Miracles.........we brought the blind and deaf into church, and we prayed for them, i have no problem with this. I love that God chooses to pour out his love and mercy on people, however that manifests. We prayed for nearly an hour for 12 deaf children, towards the end, one could hear, i don't know how much he could hear before in comparision to now, but he could hear, so regardless it was good. but they were all up in the front, and there were some 80 of us surrounding them, praying, praying in tongues, yelling at demons of infirmity to come out, and i looked at one of the kids, and he looked scared, God nugded me, "your prayer for this child is humanity" i took his hand, and squeezed it, and each time he would squeeze back, then i just sat with him and cried, said i was sorry that he could not hear, that i loved him, that i was sorry he had never heard music or the voices of his family or the sound of water or a thousand other things....and i cried. and i wrestled, does God want/need to heal him of deafness, does God deem for His church to be edified through this child who is deaf, what if he was saved and then could preach the gospel in sign language to his friends, what a ministry that would be! i had no easy answer. the next morning, the pastor of the conference got in front and gloriously proclaimed that all 12 deaf children had been healed, and that was just not true, and this lie broke my heart. this chasing after signs and wonders, this falsity that does not spread Jesus, but almost a lust and frenzy, and a worship of the signs and fire of God, and not the God of love. I believe with all my heart, that God can move and do miracles, can raise the dead, he has done it before...but it is not based on our ability, and i've had many discussions about the nature of prayer, that i know it is effective, but how, it is not a chant or a mad lib to fill in, if God wants to move, then we need to be obedient, but we can shout for 8 hours and if God is not in it, then nothing will happen, but maybe make us believe that we need to try harder and they need to believe more. Woe to us if we overspiritualize the world, if every headache, cough, and flat tire is an attack from the enemy, there is physical life and then supernatural darkness whcih sometimes we give more credit than it deserves. I long to see the blind eyes opened, the love of God so overwhelm someone that they realize their life was bought, with love, and that their joy is to live a humbled life before the lord, i long to feel the fire of God and to have the Holy spirit manifest in me however he sees fit. i know God has given me/placed in me deep compassion for the broken, for children with nothing. i have had many remarkable moments here, was given a good teachable moment when i was able to describe to someone in favor of the death penalty the radical love and redemptive grace of jesus, and what it means to physically and emotionally, love the person in front of you, and consider them above you; and this was an Iris Student. she then went on to tell me that she loved angels, and had visions and loved all the crazy supernatural stuff of the bible. which is good. but if we have not love, then these are just a clanging gong or worthless prophesy if we have not love as the radical foundation. (radical, latin word: radix, which means root, thank you shane claiborne, haha). but, i am learning so much, we have organized a gentlemans debate panel, where the 20 guys from the school will meet weekly and discuss such issues as original sin, creationism/evolution, grace to the unreached, the answer to africa, the male role in church, and a myriad of other topics, then we'll drink cokes and tell fart jokes, can't be esoteric all the time. but, i am learning a lot, seeking discernment from the lord on what is Him, what is our emotions, and what is flat out wrong or a lie. Woe to us if we lie about the workings of God for the sake of presenting a miraculous or healing ministry, there is more to God then just the Fire of the Spirit, what about love, joy, peace, wisdom, discernment...of the Spirit. alright, my thoughts end here.
peace to all of you in the name of Jesus,

joe